I think scott just propositioned me for sex
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
