Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
