I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
