We won't sleep together?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
