I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
