so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
