Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize