Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
