I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
