Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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