New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
