I just cut my nipple shaving
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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