her facebook's as public as her vagina
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
