took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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