Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So vagazzling was a success
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
