She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
