My hand turned me down
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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