just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
