Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't turn off my feet"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
