we have officially lost it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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