I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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