That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
