no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
