she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
