Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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