I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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