I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
