I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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