Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
