Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
