I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
