D3 body, D1 cock
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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