Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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