We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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