I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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