I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
