He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
