AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
