I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
