i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
