its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
