Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
