there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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