dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize