Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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