and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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