One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
