So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
