u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize