break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
