Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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