David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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