Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
