after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
