I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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