tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
