if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
