what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
