Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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