where am i from again
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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