these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
