i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
