I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize