I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
