If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it glows. i had to have it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
