but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
