So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize