Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
