matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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