She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
